talking2myself

Decisions and December.

No trumpets sound when the important decisions of our life are made. Destiny is made known silently. – Agnes de Mille (1909 – 1993)

December seems to be a month when things happen to me.  I don’t know if the stars are in sort of alignment before December, if I believed in that sort of junk, but I seem to implement life changing decisions in December.

Exactly 22 years ago yesterday, I got engaged and a year later, again in December, I got married to my current and only wife.  I left my previous life in Africa to make a change to my life and that of my young family at the end of December some 20 years ago.  Those are the big events so far, I may have made many smaller changes along the way.

And now after dilly, dallying for months I have finally made the decision to close the current chapter in my life and move onto something new.  I close this chapter, disappointed that the outcome is not what I dreamt off but not writing it off as a total waste of time.  I have learnt a lot, especially about money and people!  Every experience counts and I am not just saying that.  One day, I will write about some of the lessons, maybe even in this blog.

It is amazing how difficult it always seems to make decisions.  Sometimes you really just have to listen to you.  You can ask for advice but those who try and help do not really know how you feel even if you tell them.  They cannot understand you to that level, no matter how close they are to you.

Don’t get me wrong, I know there will be consequences of this decision and I have considered them but the consequences which could be ‘not nice’ are less scary then the option of doing nothing and achieving nothing.  And sometimes the consequences of your decisions are not as bad as you imagined they would be before you made them and that I know from experience.

Most of all, decision making is liberating.  Once you have made the decision, now you can get to the planning, the scheming and the dreaming.   This is how us humans grow, this is how we conquered the world.  A decision to move further north, over the hill, step by step is how we grew as a people and how we grow as a person.  Those who wish to stay behind do OK but those who go over the hill, for them the possibilities are endless.

May you find the balance.